How to deal with jealousy in a gay relationship

Schedule Your Free 15 min. It is perfectly natural to feel all sorts of things in any type of relationship. The trick is not to limit the range of emotions we feel, but rather decide what we want to do with the emotions when they come up. Because they will come up.

For example, you may feel jealous if your partner sleeps with another person, but feeling jealous in and of itself is not the end of the world. For some, a monogamous relationship is crucial to feeling safe and secure. For others, there are various non-monogamous arrangements that can allow for safety, security, increased intimacy and not to mention fun.

There are a number of resources for couples looking to open up or change the structure of their relationship. The book The Ethical Slut is a fantastic primer for those interested in learning more about non-monogamous relationships. Below are some tools to begin understanding complex emotions like jealousy that may pop up from time to time, especially in open or non-monogamous relationships.

Feeling jealous in an open relationship is not necessarily a crisis. Though painful, it can be a positive experience. Sit with the feeling. Try and understand your feelings without judgment. Are you scared that you may lose your partner?

Advice From a Polyamory Coach on Dealing With Relationship Jealousy

Are there ways your partner could make you feel more secure? Take a moment before you react. In primary attachment relationships, small actions can sometimes cause big reactions. Take a moment to calm and soothe yourself before beginning a tough conversation with you partner about your needs or fears.

Give yourself a pat on the back. Open relationships take a lot of work! They require trust, honesty and communication on a level that can be pretty intense. Take a moment to validate the progress that you have made so far. Communicate with your partner. Make sure you know what you are feeling or needing before you begin making requests from your partner.

Turn toward each other. This is a technique often spoken about by John and Julie Gottmanleaders in couples therapy research. When your partner does reach out to begin processing or looking at tough emotions, make space for them. Turn toward theminstead of turning away and making the situation worse.

Schedule a minute free call to discuss if the Gay Therapy Center has the right therapist for you. Schedule Free 15 Min. If other people want an open relationship, fine. On to someone loyal instead.